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Best (Swim) Suits of Summer!

That’s right folks, it’s time for everyone’s favorite subject, swimsuits. If the sarcasm isn’t apparent in that last statement, then you are a rare creature because NO ONE likes swimsuit shopping. Alas, pools and oceans await and since head to toe spandex onesies are not yet in style, let me guide you through choosing the right bathing suit for your lifestyle and shape.

 

Now before we begin, I want to address the fact that this post appears to be a bevy of gratuitous shots showing off my near-naked swimsuit clad body. In response to this I say, you damn right peeps. I work hard to keep my bits and pieces in place and although I mostly look like the shots below, I want to offer some “full-disclosure” information: Yes, I filter.  And yes, I have no shame in admitting this. I believe in health, fitness and honesty. We all come in different shapes and sizes and if I have learned anything working in this business for over 15 years, it is that no matter what size a person is, they still have some issue with something. I want for all women to understand that clothing and/or lack there of (swimsuits) can help to create a more confident and sexy you. No body is perfect, not even Christie Brinkley (who looks hella good at 63!!!!).

 

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I am very down with the one-piece bathing suit right now. Anything that can serve two purposes (act as a body suit AND a swimsuit) is dope. If you read this blog regularly, you now I am the queen of function and fashion. On this fabulous day I was in Capri with no idea how my time was going to play out. I wanted to wear something that I could shop, eat, sunbathe and swim in. Voila, one piece swimsuit with shorts and a fabulous hat, yes please. I was covered enough to walk into Cartier (because I shop there SO much:) and naked enough to take a dip in the Mediterranean. I found this cute bathing suit at Zara for only $30. I am truly an advocate of buying more expensive swimsuits typically, but this one was a good fun and done, one season piece. More on why spending money on bathing suits is so important later…..

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Oh the infamous white bikini.  It is what I would consider the end all, be all of perfect swimwear. So sexy and chic. It is almost like a unicorn, beautiful and fabulous yet essentially impossible to find. That is why when you do find one that lifts, tucks and covers correctly, throw down your credit card. I came across this beauty at Beach Bunny in Miami. I really love their designs, but they definitely are not known for coverage. Somehow they can take the smallest amount of material and have it lift everything just right. At $200, it’s a little pricey, but as I mentioned above, spending money on swimsuits is vital. Cheap bathing suits lose their shape quickly and truly do not offer the proper support for your boobies or bum. I know it is a tough pill to swallow considering how small bathing suits are and how crazy the mark-up must be, but you just have to go with it on this one. Spending more to look better in less material is a no brainer folks.

 

 

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I know the concept of a smaller bottomed bathing suit is absurd to most Americans (except for people that live in Miami), but do you want your arse to look better or not??? Go ahead, argue with me that this concept is ridiculous. That having a smaller bottom will only enhance the “problem area” you call your ass, but I will continue to disagree. We are not talking g-string here folks, I am just saying that it should slightly give you a comfortable wedgie. I am half kidding. No matter weather your bum is smaller, bigger, flat or round, wearing a smaller bathing suit bottom will create a much more sexy and flattering backside. 

 

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The sporty swimsuit is in and it is here to stay. Florissant colors,  fun piping and actual support are cool and you should go out and pick this style up. The great thing about this bathing suit is that you can actually have fun doing summer sports while wearing it. Look hot while playing volleyball. This particular suit has a string style top, but go for the sports bra-esque look and really rock out while playing paddle ball.

 

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I love a good theme, even in a swimsuit. I am kind of obsessed with this cha cha bikini. I need to book a trip to Mexico just so I can prance through the ocean in it. Yes, I buy clothing to match non-existent trips. The story behind this bikini is a tale of, “Oh my God, I just found the greatest secret trove of bathing suits and cover ups in all of New York City”. I went into a sporting goods store (Paragon Sports, check it out, it’s dope), and low and behold, they had a massive selection of mostly on-sale bathing suit related items. I went nuts. This particular suit had mix and match tops and bottoms so I literally “designed” this look. This is a very hot trend right now and makes you the creator of your own bathing suit destiny. Try it within your own bathing suit collection, mixing and matching what you have will “double” the amount of swimsuits you already have! Obsessed.

 

 

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Finally, what are the trends of the season and which ones are best for your body type? Here are my top 5 picks in no particular order:

1. The High Waisted Bikini: I don’t actually love this style. Ok, so that’s probably not my best sales pitch, but as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, honesty is the best policy. People have been tricked into thinking that the higher waist is covering your stomach and therefore making it more flattering. Wrong. It is actually accentuating the negative and making you look 3 months pregnant. Even if you are a skinny minny, this swimsuit style will just make you look like you borrowed your grandmother’s sexy bikini. I.E. NOT SEXY.

2. The Ruched One Piece Swimsuit: This is truly one of the best styles on the market. As opposed to the high waisted bikini, this bathing suit actually does cover an imperfect stomach. The front knot on this black option does double duty by drawing the eye to the center giving the illusion of being even skinnier. Who doesn’t want that? There is extra coverage down below, but by keeping the top open, the suit is still sexy yet functional. I have bought this for several clients with both big and small chests, don’t worry, they aren’t going to fall out.

3. Off the Shoulder Bikini:  This bathing suit is super cute and super trendy, but be warned, funky tan lines are in your future. Yes, you can take your arms out while you sunbathe, but then don’t you lose the whole point of this style? Essentially, if you want to look cool while sipping cocktails in a shady area and don’t mind that you have alligator arms (you seriously can’t move your arms), then this cool and uber fun bikini is for you.

4. Cut Out  One-Piece Bathing Suit: Again, there is a strong recommendation to avoid sun tanning in this (unless having a tan triangle in the middle of your boobs is your thing). This swimsuit is made for yachting and fabulous cocktails at the pool club where you never actually set foot in the pool. The criss-cross panels give you amazing coverage and the cut-out pattern says, “I’m sexy in a “rich bitch sort of way”. I’ve never been on a yacht, but at least I know what I’m gonna wear when I am.

5. String BikiniOh the good ol’ string bikini. It inflicts sheer terror in so many people and I completely understand. It is literally the smallest thing you can wear in public and still be respectable. With that said, if you got it, flaunt it. The string bikini is here to stay, it is not a fad, it is a staple. To wear this bathing suit there are a few simple rules: Have high, perky boobs and a tight butt. No miracles here, your everything is showing when you wear this so your everything better be pretty good.

High Waisted, Ruched One Piece, Off the Shoulder, String Bikini, Cut Out 

 

 

 

 

 

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